End of the Line

I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer.

As official as that line is now, it still doesn’t seem entirely real. Maybe it’ll feel real in a couple short hours when I ring the bill to metaphorically signal the end of my Peace Corps service here in Belize, but who knows. It didn’t feel entirely real when I signed my last document stating that I was done, so maybe the bell won’t feel real either. I’m not sure it’ll feel real until I’m on my way back to the States on October 6. There’s a sentiment among us dating back to when we got on the plane in Miami from Staging 27 months ago to embark upon this journey in Belize that it’s not real until you’re on the plane. I think that will still apply to me, so we’ll see what happens. Either way though, my time in Peace Corps Belize is officially over.

These past 27 months have flown by in a whirlwind faster than I could have possibly imagined, and I’ve loved every minute of it. Sure, it was hard as hell sometimes, but for all the difficult moments I had along the way, there are innumerable good ones that cast a deep shadow over them all, obscuring them from view. They’ll never completely go away, and I will absolutely remember them, but always in the light of how amazing my time here has been regardless, and how much I’ve loved my service here.

I know I’m a different person now than I was when I started, and while I knew at a base level that was a possibility when I arrived here, I had no concept of how, or how much it would occur. I know now that I’m a much more patient person that I ever was before. That I’m more resilient than I thought possible for me. That while I valued meaningful relationships so much already in my life before, I value them so much more now, on a deeper level. I’ve found a comfortability with myself and confidence in who I am as a person that I never had before, and I can no longer make excuses (nor want to) for the person I am and have become. I once said in a previous blog post that I’m more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been before, and that’s a direct result of my service here.

My time here has been, in a word, incredible. The people that I’ve met and worked with are among the most amazing I have ever known, and I will never not cherish that. The work that I’ve done here has been fulfilling on a level I’ve never experienced in a job, and I hope that it continues to benefit the people in my village for a long time to come. But even if it doesn’t, that’s not the important part here, the relationships are. There will never be a time that I won’t want to come back to visit my village, my family and friends here, and I anticipate doing so frequently until I’m physically unable to do so from old age. The relationships I’ve formed here have made my service what it has been, and that’s all that really matters.

To all the people I've known and worked with here, thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much, and I will miss you more than can possibly imagine. To my fellow RPCV's in BH4, this was one hell of a ride, and I couldn't have done it without you, nor imagined it any other way with any other people. I can't wait to hear about all the amazing things you'll go on to do now that we're done here. To BH5 and BH6, best of luck throughout your service here, and enjoy it as much as you can, because it'll fly by. To the new volunteer who will be taking over in the village I served in, I know you're going to do amazingly well there, and I can't wait to here about it! I hope you'll love it there as much as I do. To everyone in my village, thank you for absolutely everything during my time there. Thank you for making me a part of your community, for working with me, for accepting and loving me, for all the memories we've made, and for always being there for me no matter what. I love you all so much. To my training host family in Valley, thank you for being there for me when I first got here, and for taking me in, treating me like family, and teaching me everything you did. I will never forget you, ever. Finally, to my permanent host family in the village. Words cannot express how much I love you all. Thank you for being a real family to me, one that I absolutely cannot live without. Thank you for everything you taught me. For all the jokes, laughing, crying, and general all around craziness. I can't imagine my life without you all these past two years, and I know my service would not have been the same had I not had the privilege of living with you. I love you all so much, and I know I'll see you again sooner rather than later once I have to go back to the States.

Re junilex inwaamigeb ut injunk'ab'aal sa' li k'aleb'aal, tojokre re xjunil joq'e haq wiib' inhab' xnume aran. Mas nakex inra junilex, ut mas nakex ink'u'uxla joq'e tento tin q'ak se estau. Nin nau tin chal wichik chi b'ehek eerikin, ut tin ye eere joq'e tin nau joq'e. Usra chaabil eeyuam, ut tin tijok re eere. Mas sa inch'ool xin wanko'ok aran, xin kanjelak eerikin, ut xin q'ulbaalex se li k'aleb'aal. Moko tin sach we inq'eqchi xb'anaq tento tin aachinak eerikin joq'e tin chal wichik chi b'ehek. Mas nakex inra, mas nakex ink'u'uxla, ut tojokre re chixjunil.   

From here on out, things get interesting. Tonight will be my last night in the capital, after which I’ll go back to visit my training host family tomorrow for a couple of days. Saturday I return to my village for about a week to finish up work on the library and officially open it, and say my goodbyes (for now) to the wonderful people in my village. I officially leave my village on October 2 to visit San Pedro for a couple days to do some last minute scuba diving, and then October 4 I travel to Cancun to fly out to the States on October 6. I’ll be back in the States for a month before coming back down to Mexico for Addison and Sonja’s wedding, and from there will travel around Mexico, Guatemala, and Honduras for 2-3 months. From there, I’ll return to the States for good to work, likely sometime in January. I’m not sure what the next chapter of my life will look like, but I know that things will work out as they’re supposed, and I’m not worried about it even a little bit.

And so with that ends my last blog on this site. This was devoted to my time in Peace Corps Belize, which has now come to an end. I have to say though, at the end of it all, that I really did live the dream down here in this wonderful place.

Love,

Bryan