Peace Corps: Year 2

Written 1st April, 2018

“Wank aajunk’ab’aal ai” – “You have your family here”

“Ma ink’a laa’in li gringo anawank?” “Ink’a, la’at brown chi k’ama laa’in anawank!” – “Am I not the gringo now?” “No, you’re brown like me now!”

“When will you go da States Mr. Bryan?” “Joq’e tin raqe ai, maare se October, maare sajjun hab” 

“Oh…well maybe I will miss you.” – “When I’m done here, maybe in October, maybe next year”

“It’s boring here when you’re not here, there’s nothing to do!”

“Whenever you need help Mr. Bryan, just ask. You helped me, so I will help you.” 

When people ask me why I love it here, quotes like these pop into my head. I can tell you that I love my family, my village, my work, and the people here, and that is all true, because it’s the relationships I’ve formed here that make me love it so much. Things are really hard here sometimes, and plans almost never go through exactly as they were designed, but at the end of the day I think back to some of the things people have said to me during my time here, and my perspective always changes.

The quotes above are just from the last couple of months, and the ones that popped into my head first when I started writing. I’ve had more of these than I can count, and I wish I could have written them all down. All the kind words, jokes, lessons, and all around great conversations I’ve had here; there are too many to count. Though I may never be able to remember them all, they have shaped who I am today, which is someone who is (I think) quite different from the man who stepped off that first plane to Belize 19 months ago. I’m a better person for having come here and met these people, and if nothing else, even if my work here amounts to nothing, I will always have that.

When we joined Peace Corps Belize, we frequently heard how much better year 2 is compared to year 1. We were told it was because at that point, you’ve established your work, your relationships, and how you operate in your village. I absolutely believed it then; it made a lot of logical sense. Now though, I can say with absolutely certainty that my 2^nd year has been leaps and bounds better than my 1^st. Don’t get me wrong, despite all the challenges I had during my 1^st year of service, I still loved it. It’s just that my 2^nd year has been, frankly, magical, and even if my 1^st year had been perfect, the 2^nd would still be better. I feel so much more comfortable here, and even more than that, like I belong and am wanted here. I’m a part of the community now, no longer just the saq (gringo) that showed up to talk about health. People come to me for help because they trust me, and I do the same whenever I need help on something. It’s because of that that my work has taken off. There’s never a dull moment here anymore, and I love that. I don’t have to fight for my work anymore; people come to me with work projects if they think I can help them. Sometimes I can’t, and that’s okay as well. Despite how much I know I’ve changed here, a lot of me is still the exact same. The first year, I felt like I had to tiptoe around, hiding parts of who I am or thoughts that I had in an effort to get along with everyone. Now, I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, I don’t feel the need to make excuses for who I am here anymore. I’m more confident in my individuality than I think I ever have been in my life. I can’t tell you how wonderfully freeing that is.

For deeply personal reasons like all of that, selfishly I want to stay. That being said though, I wouldn’t try to stay longer unless it made sense for my work. After all, that is why I’m here in the first place. I wasn’t going to say anything until I knew the outcome of the situation, but here goes anyway. Some of you know this already, but I have applied to extend my service an extra year. I don’t know yet whether or not it will be granted, since I’m not the only one applying, but I should know by the end of April. I hope and pray that it works out, but if it doesn’t, it’s because someone else was granted the extension that deserved it more than I do. As disappointed as I would be with that outcome, I can live with that, because I know that between the two of us, whoever gets it will have earned it, and go on to have an even more successful year 3. Best of luck to you sir, I wish they could take both of us.

If I don’t get it, my service will end in October. If I do, September 2019. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so whatever the outcome, I’ll accept it and move on to the next chapter of my life whenever that will be. For now though, I will keep working my butt off until that day comes. On that note, here are some of the things that I’ve been working on lately:

Community Library

As some of you have seen on Facebook, we’ve submitted our grant application for our Community Library project! I couldn’t be more thrilled that it’s done and in, and though we still have a long way to go, we’re moving along towards making it happen! If all goes well, we’ll begin the renovations of the building in June/July and plan to have everything finished by the time school starts again in September. We’ve gotten a bunch of book donations already, and are waiting on some more to come in!

BRO and GLOW Clubs

My boys (BRO – Boys Reaching Out) and girls (GLOW – Girls Leading Our World) clubs are in full swing, and I love them so much. This is easily one of my favorite things that I get to do here, working with these kids. We just wrapped up fundraising for BRO, because BRO Camp is this week! I’ve been on the planning committee for camp these past 9 months, and it’s crazy to me that it’s finally here! I’m so excited to bring these boys to camp; it’s the best week of the year. My GLOW girls will be starting fundraising just after the boys get back from camp, since their camp is in July. Can’t wait to start with them next!

Health Post

We’re working our tails off to try and build a fence around our health post to protect it, and are then looking at renovating it altogether into a bigger health clinic. We sorely need it, since the village has about 2500 people in it, compared to the couple hundred the health post was built for nearly 25 years ago. Our fence is well on its way, we’re just trying to work out getting the materials that have been committed. After that, we’ve got some promising leads for renovations! This would be my main project should my extension get approved.

Those are the really big things that are taking up all of my time right now. I’m still teaching (and still loving it), and have had a bunch of visitors lately! Jen and Marc came down in February, and that was amazing. They even got engaged while they were in Belize, which is beyond spectacular and I couldn’t be happier for two of my favorite people in the world! My family also came down just a couple of weeks ago, and that was great as well! They got to see my village for a bit and enjoy the beach on Placencia, my favorite place to visit in Belize. It was sad to see them go, especially when I don’t know when it is I’ll see them again with my extension up in the air. I almost certainly won’t be coming back to visit until I’m done, so it could be as long as a year and a half. Also, after 20+ years of never really being close, my brother Kyle and I finally started connecting. Definitely the surprise of the trip for all of us, but it was awesome actually getting to know him for really the first time ever. I have another friend or two that may be coming to visit in June/July, so I’m looking forward to that next! With how fast the first 3 months of this year have flown by, I know the next 3 will be just as fast, if not faster.

Well, I think that’s all for now. I’ve been told I get a little long-winded on my blog posts, so I’m gonna end it here, though I make no apologies for it since I only post every couple of months now :-P.

Bryan

P.S. I'll have another post coming soon with BRO Camp and news of the extension situation, I just haven't had a chance to write it yet! I'll post pictures with the next one as well!