Double Reintegration

Long post ahead y’all, you’ve been warned!

They call the first 3 months of Peace Corps Service at your site the “Integration Period.” It’s supposed to be a time where you spend doing little project-related work so you can focus on getting to know the language, your host family, your village and the people in it, and figuring out your project, work priorities, and where you fit in the grand scheme of things. It’s supposed to be somewhat relaxing, mostly due to the fact that you have a lot of free time since you haven’t figured out anything about work yet. For some people, that’s true. For others, it’s the complete opposite, and all that free time leaves you going a little bit stir crazy. Can you guess which boat I was in? Absolutely, unequivocally, the latter.

The “Integration Period” is often seen as one of the most difficult times of Peace Corps Service, up there with PST (Pre-Service Training) and nearing COS (Close of Service). I did not particularly enjoy PST. Sure, there were some really great times, and I wouldn’t trade the experiences I had with the absolutely incredible members of BH4 (my cohort) for the world. There were also some awful times, like when my gut bacteria changed about a month and a half in and I felt like I had food poisoning for 3 days. Compared to my first 3 months at site? PST was a cakewalk.

Those of you who know me even moderately well know that I’m a busybody. I hate not being busy, it drives me nuts. I would rather see 8 things on my calendar for a single day and be running from place to place all day long than see that day empty, any day. So when I tell you I read more than 20 books (yes, I do have a running list) during that first 3 months and took about as many naps as a cat during that time, you can understand how much free time I had. It drove me nuts. At the same time, I had this weird anxiety about going out into my village and meeting people. Again, those of you know who me are probably scratching your heads right now thinking, “Really?” because you know I love going out and meeting people. Going out to visit in my village now is one of my favorite things here, but in the beginning, I was really self-conscious about it. See, Peace Corps makes you do, think, and feel things that you likely wouldn’t have normally done, thought, or felt otherwise. It made me feel insecure about leaving my house for awhile, because I wasn’t sure I would be able to effectively communicate with people. It made me anxious about a lot of situations that I normally would have jumped head-first into. It made me think that I wasn’t as much of an extrovert as I’ve always thought. Those are all things that I would not use to describe myself. I still don’t, especially since most of those things have passed, but some of the anxiety is still there. I’ve never been an anxious person and I don’t like feeling that way, but I find that some of it is still present. I really noticed it when I visited the States over Christmas. I was a much more anxious driver than I’ve ever been, and I didn’t like it. Part of that might have come from driving a rental car for 3 weeks, but I think there was more to it than that. Anyway, the point of all this being, the first 3 months were really hard for me. The hardest of my Peace Corps experience, and potentially working life, so far.

That being said, I wouldn’t trade that period for the world, because it helped me get to where I am now, which is comfortable, integrated, and absolutely loving where I am and what I’m doing. I can’t tell you how many times we were told “Peace Corps is the hardest job you’ll ever love” before going to our sites. I believed it to be true the first time I heard it, but that phrase is one of those things you need to experience to truly appreciate. Peace Corps is absolutely the hardest job I have ever, and may ever, have. It is also the job that I’ve loved the absolute most. I know I’m where I’m supposed to be right now, and on the really hard days, that helps to keep me going.

So why am I going all the way back to my first 3 months when I’m now well over a year in? Well, I wanted to give some context (sorry, a lot of context, y’all know I’m awful at being concise) for what I’m about to say. The last month has (while paling in comparison) really reminded me of those first 3 months in my site. It has been pretty difficult for me in a lot of different ways. Sorry y’all, this is not a super happy post in general, though I will throw in some awesome stuff at the end. Peace Corps isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, it’s damn hard sometimes, and I can’t (and won’t) sugarcoat that. I’ve undergone a veritable crap-top of personal growth while here, and part of that has been realizing (and becoming okay with that fact) that it’s okay for things to not be okay sometimes. It’s life. It’s also okay, and frankly good (read: cathartic), to talk about it sometimes. I’m okay with saying it now. The last month has been rough.

December started out great, but it took me out of my village a lot, something I don’t particularly like. I love it here, and when I’m gone I feel like I’m not doing my job, even if I’m leaving TO do my job. Nature of the beast, I guess. I had planned to go on leave to the States starting December 13 for 3 weeks, something I was fairly anxious about. I’d never left the village for that long since coming here, and I knew I was going to miss it. I left the village on a high note though, playing Santa in the annual school Christmas Pageant the night of the 12^th. It was absolutely nuts, but it was a blast. After that, I said goodbye to my host family and left early the next morning.

My 3 weeks in the States was great, and it was just the right amount of time. I actually did very little work, had plenty of time to relax, and while I didn’t get to see everyone, I did get to see a lot of my family and friends, which was amazing. The weird part was in coming back. I’ll be honest, it felt like I didn’t really belong in the States a lot of the time. I’ve heard a lot of people who have done study aboard or a lot of travel utter something similar to this, and I never really understood it until it hit me. I’ll never forget flying into Fort Lauderdale with my buddy Nick, coming down over acres and acres of homes, businesses, streets, and lights, feeling like it was totally foreign. That culture shock hit me right away. I was going to have to reintegrate to the States over the next 3 weeks, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

Reintegration went, in a word, okay. There were a lot of times where I felt overwhelmed with everything around me, even if there wasn’t actually anything going on. One of the weeks I was back, I was in St. Paul staying with the Shackeltons, and had to drive out to Bloomington for a TSA pre-check screening. I hadn’t eaten anything yet that morning, so by the time I was done, I was hungry and looking to get some food. Such a simple thing, but driving around Bloomington that day was actually pretty stressful. I had no idea where to start, there were just so many places to go everywhere I turned. I ended up deciding to get some Caribou first, thinking that was a good place to start. I parked in the lot and sat there for a minute, just collecting myself. Got my coffee and was getting set to leave, when I noticed a Bruegger’s in the next lot over. 90% of the reason I got Bruegger’s that day was because it was so close and the easiest thing to do, I didn’t know how to go about figuring out where to eat if I didn’t just do that. So I did.

There were a lot of little things like that that were just super weird and slightly uncomfortable for me. It happened throughout the entire trip, and was a big reason why I was content to relax and do nothing as frequently as I did, which is not me at all. I love going out and being social, but relaxing meant I didn’t have to go out and deal with those little things. Of course, I couldn’t do that the whole time, and I didn’t. I went out plenty. I had to, and I’m glad I did. Taking the easy way is almost never the best way, and I’m not one to half-ass things.

Despite all of this though, my time in the States was great. Seeing everyone and being home for Christmas was wonderful, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, even if I knew all of the above stuff in advance. Near the end though, I was ready to head back home to Belize. At the same time though, I was a little nervous about it.

I was damn excited to come back to Belize, but when I got here, everything felt just a little bit off. Like something had changed, and it wasn’t the same Belize I had left just 3 weeks before. I was suddenly nervous about going back to the village I loved and seeing everyone. Thinking about it now, it was completely unfounded, and I was being ridiculous worrying about it. But worry I did, and it colored my first week back here. Those same odd feelings of being anxious about leaving the house were back, if only for a short while. There are a lot of things going on in the village right now, so there’s plenty of work for me to do from home, work that needed to be done. I used that as a crutch the first couple of days back though, and didn’t go out much. It felt like I had to reintegrate here now. Again. I wasn’t prepared for that at all, and the first few days were really weird for me.

But I couldn’t stay sitting in my room forever. I had things to do, and people that hadn’t seen me in almost a month that wanted to reconnect. I had to go out. I had to rediscover how much I loved being out and about in my village. In a way, I’m glad it happened like this, because I got to feel those same feelings of relief and ecstasy that I got when I finally felt truly comfortable in my village, all over again. Nothing had changed, and I’m not sure why I was ever worried that it would have. These people still saw me as a member of their community, as a friend, as family, and as their Piis Koor.

Since those first few days back, things have improved drastically. Projects are moving, and I now hate being stuck in the house again. The latter actually made me realize that I can’t have a normal desk job when I get back to the States, it just doesn’t fit me. I derive too much joy from being out and about, connecting with people. Stifling that stifles me, and I’m just not as happy that way. Classic Peace Corps, still making me learn new things about myself a year and a half in. Suffice it to say though, I’m in a great place again. I love it here, and I couldn’t be happier.

So let’s end this on a happy note, with some rapid-fire awesomeness that’s been happening over the past few months (since I’m awful at keeping up with this thing nowadays).

• My CHW’s (Community Health Workers) and I put on a health fair in November that went crazy well, over 100 people showed up!
• I helped a local farmers group put on a football marathon (read: single elimination one day soccer tournament) to raise money to buy tools for the group. They raised over $1,200!
• I started my BRO (Boys Reaching Out) and GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) Clubs, and they’re freaking awesome. I love my kids.
• I’ve also been working on the BRO Task Force to plan BRO Camp coming up in April, and couldn’t be more amped to finally get to it!
• We’ve secured funding to build a fence around our health post, and once that’s done, looking at renovating it altogether!
• I’ve been asked to start teaching adult literacy classes, so that will probably start soon.
• I’ve been working on a Teacher’s Resource Center at my school along with my Principal, which will be mostly done after this weekend!
• My library project is FINALLY making moves! I’ve gotten some book donations in and some future ones secured, my committee is set (and hopefully gonna meet next weekend), the National Library Service wants to come down and meet with us to help us along, and we’ve started work on the grant for it!

Us b’i, a’an chixjunil re anawank, nakex inra!
(Alright, that’s all for now, I love you all!)

Bryan

Ki xnumsi jun hab se CK

One year has passed in CK (that’s what the title means). This exact day one year ago is when I arrived in my village, and I can’t believe how much things have changed in that time. I think I look relatively the same, albeit with shorter hair, sans beard, and significantly tanner (who the hell knew I could actually tan?!) I may look the same, but I feel significantly different. So let’s do something a little bit different this time around, here’s a list of 10 things that I’ve learned or have changed about me during my year in Belize…in no particular order.

1.       I love kids. I know that’s not a shocker, but, I really love working with kids. And teaching. I really, really enjoy teaching way more than I thought I was ever going to, and I think it’s in large part because I’m honestly just having a blast with the kids here. There’s not much more fun for me here than playing with the kids in my village, because they’re wonderful. Super rude sometimes, but they’re kids, so it kind of goes with the territory. By and large though, my kids are amazing and I love them. Did you know I have over 500 of them now? Maybe this is how all teachers feel, but I get to teach all of them, so I kind of feel like each of them is one of my kids. I love it. I’m excited to have kids of my own…someday. Def not right now, so don’t hold your breath on that happening anytime soon, haha.

2.       When I first got here, I went through a bit of an internal crisis. The early parts of my life, I was pretty introverted, and it wasn’t until high school that that really changed and I started to become more extroverted. Throughout the rest of my life I’ve tended to be more on that side, and assumed so until I got to my village. With everything going on and all the changes happening in my life that came with coming here, there were many, many days I really had to fight to try and force myself to get out of the house and go out into the community. Quite a lot of those fights I lost, and consequently, I spent a lot of time hanging out with my family or in my room. I read a lot of books over those first few months. I started to think that maybe I wasn’t an extrovert after all. But then I got better at the language, started working, and met more people. I realized that my happiest days were always the ones I was out and about visiting with people, and once I had enough of those days under my belt, I didn’t need to fight with myself anymore. Nowadays I still need some me time in the house every now and again, but I love going out and visiting with people. I’ve realized that I’m more extroverted than I thought, I was just anxious about stepping further out of my comfort zone than I’ve ever done before. Now I don’t think twice about walking up to anyone’s house here, or talking with anyone on the street, because I really enjoy it. Once I knew I could communicate effectively with people here, the barriers came crashing down. Visiting in the village has become one of my favorite things here now, especially when it comes to…

3.       Taking pictures. Most, if not all of you, have known for a long time that I hate pictures. Particularly being in them. That wasn’t always true though. When I was young (read: 5 or 6), I actually loved taking pictures. I had this big ass Polaroid instant camera that I’d lug around everywhere, and a photo album that I got for my birthday one year that took me less than a year to fill. Somewhere along the way though, I lost my passion for it, and it grew into a general dislike of pictures. Not sure why or how, but that’s how it goes. “Ak re chi k’ama an” is what I’d say in Q’eqchi: It is what it is. Anyway, that’s changed again here. I volunteered to take photos for graduation here, and that has opened up a million doors. I had a blast doing it, and I’ve met so many people in the village here because of it. Now I’m the village photographer for anyone who wants me to print photos for them, and I swear after every “photo shoot” I leave with a sore face from smiling so much. Now I don’t really mind being in pictures either, I’ve kind of just gotten over all of that. Crazy right?

4.       Patience really is a virtue. Things are really hard here sometimes. I love my job, but it’s not easy, and often a really big part of working through the challenges is being patient. I thought I was a relatively patient person before coming here. After learning the hard way that it was an essential skill in Peace Corps, I don’t think I was very patient at all before coming here. Things tend to move slower here, and that’s fine. I used to be extremely go-go-go all the time and loved that, but I can’t be that here, and I’ve come to terms with that. Everything takes time, and schedules aren’t everything (never thought I’d say that in a million years). Challenges don’t always resolve quickly or easily, and take a lot of working through. Without some patience, we’d all go a little crazy down here.

5.       Even if it doesn’t feel like it (because it never does), the little things add up, and finding a way to vent is absolutely essential. I didn’t realize how important this was until very recently. I can’t write the details out on here, but a good portion of my work lately has been immensely frustrating. It wasn’t until I vented all my frustrations to the Q’eqchi volunteers a couple weeks back that could really move past the situation, and I felt a lot better. A lot of things have been piling up lately, and I didn’t realize it was all weighing me down until that happened. I’ve never been one to want to lay my burdens upon someone else, I’d rather just work through it on my own, but you can’t always do that. We definitely can’t do that here, it’s too hard. I’m opening up to it more than I would’ve thought, but I’m glad actually; the whole process is really cathartic.

6.       When you get into the Peace Corps, you have a general idea of what’s it’s really about: sustainable development, integration, promoting peace and friendship among cultures. While that’s all true, it’s a far cry from hearing about it or having an idea of what that means, compared to actually living it. It’s hard to be completely prepared for this, maybe impossible unless you’ve done it once before and are coming back for seconds. That being said, I’ve completely bought into it, and I love it. Like everyone else, I came here with a million ideas of what I wanted to do in my village. It didn’t take long to figure out that that’s not how this works at all, and I really came to appreciate the idea of real integration and helping people to do the work that they want to do. Now I won’t start a project unless someone in the village wants to do it and is committed to seeing it through. It’s a really cool feeling being able to start and complete a project like that.

7.       I love learning about different languages and cultures, and consequently, my desire to travel has skyrocketed. I’ve always enjoyed traveling, but most of it has been in the States, and now the travel itch has me wanting to go everywhere! Since coming here, I’ve learned two new languages (though I’m still learning a lot!), and am working on two more. I’ve found that I really, really enjoy that aspect of my service.

8.       I seriously love every member of my cohort, they really are family here. I can’t imagine going through this with anyone else, and I’m always happy to see any one of them. I also seriously love my host family, they’re easily the best part of my service here. I don’t know how I got so lucky having two amazing host families (in training and in site), but my time here would not be the same without them.

9.       I’ve discovered I need a lot less than I ever thought I did to be comfortable. We use a pit latrine instead of a toilet, I bathe in a bucket every night, I wash my clothes by hand at the creek, and there was a three month stretch where we didn’t have electricity here. None of that bothers/ed me even a little bit. In fact, I actually really enjoy bucket bathing!

10.   While I’m usually so busy that I don’t notice it, I do miss people back in the States sometimes. I don’t really miss living there at all right now, but I do miss being able to see everyone regularly, which is very different for me. I’ve moved around and lived away from home so much, and have always liked to keep so busy that I often never really missed others like people normally do when I was still in the States. It’s not something I’ve ever liked to talk about because I think it makes me seem cold and uncaring. I’m really not like that at all, and I do miss people occasionally, I’ve always just been focused on being present in the moment that I often don’t think about what’s outside of it. I’ve always been sort of ashamed of that, but during my time here I’ve come to accept that that’s just part of who I am. I don’t love people any less because of it, so I hope no one takes offense to this, but its part of who I am and I’m not ashamed of that anymore.

Welp, there we go. A year’s journey of personal growth, hard work, and lots of changes. I’ve loved my time here more than I can put into words, and I can’t imagine having been anywhere else for the past year. Just like the first year it will absolutely be challenging, but I can’t wait to see what the rest of my service will bring.

Love,

Bryan

Insert Clever Title Here

Oh hey!

So it’s been about two months, so I figured it was probably time for another blog. A lot has happened in the last couple of months! I kind of liked doing things bullet style last time, so I think I’m going to do that again.

• BRO (Boys Reaching Out) committee work has really taken off! We’ve met a couple of times, and have started planning camp next year and making some resources for BRO clubs. Megan is a rockstar and basically created the whole BRO handbook we wanted to make in one sitting! The grant we applied for is done and in, so now we’re just waiting for approval. When we do, you can be sure I’ll post a link on here and Facebook in case y’all are willing to donate to our cause!
• I went to a ceremony in Dangriga for PSE (Primary School Examination, it’s a high school entrance exam) awards. One of the Standard 6 girls scored the 6^th best in the district for her score; that was really awesome to get to see. So proud of her, Genie is gonna do amazing things.
• I’m starting work on a home gardening project here that I hope to foray into establishing a community market. A group has already formed here on their own, gotten their seeds and have made their gardens. I’m hoping to expand to another group of people that want to do the same, and I’m probably about halfway there now. My mom is actually starting her garden already!
• Graduation here was a blast, but it was crazy and exhausting. I ended up being the photographer for the whole deal, which was actually a lot of fun. Because of that, I’m now the village photographer as well, so that’s cool. I’ve done a small handful of photo shoots (if you can call them that with a cell phone camera), which has actually been pretty fun. It’s also been a great way to meet a TON of people in the village. Graduation parties are also a bit different here. Unlike the States, everyone does their party at the same time after graduation is over, and they make a ton of food. If you plan to go to multiple parties, you’re going to get a full plate of food at each one. Too late I learned this to pace myself, but next year I’ll be ready. 2 lunches and 3 dinners was too much, I had to waddle home after all that.
• I got asked to be the guest speaker for the graduation at a nearby village, which was a huge honor and a lot of fun. Definitely wasn’t expecting that, nor the awesome gift they gave me (a backpack, wallet, and key ring) for doing it.
• I went to Caye Caulker for a weekend with a bunch of volunteers for Lobster Fest, and that was an absolutely blast. Got to go diving one day with Megan, and ate a ton of delicious lobster, including on a kabob with grilled pineapple, and in mac and cheese (totally worth the number of lactose pills I had to take to survive it).
• I went back to Eau Claire for a week and that was great. I got to see friends and family I haven’t seen in over a year, and it was really, really nice to be back. I also got to officiate Jackie’s wedding, which was absolutely amazing. I had so much fun there, it was unreal.
• In my quest to visit all the churches in my village (there are 15 of them), one Sunday I happened upon one that got me invited to a man’s 84^th birthday party, which was really cool. Ended up playing photographer there, and it was really amazing to get to be a part of that experience.
• We have two new CHW’s (Community Health Workers) that have started training now, and I’m super excited to start working with them. Already we’ve done an incaparina (nutrient rich flour substitute) cooking demonstration that they helped with, and it was probably the biggest success I’ve had to date. We had 54 people show up who were really into it and wanted to know when the next one would be. I plan on doing them monthly, and the new CHW’s will be a big help with that. I also can’t go anywhere without someone asking me for incap now, which is huge for improving the nutrition in my village.
• I’ve gotten to be halfway decent at playing football now, which has been a lot of fun, and has motivated me to start a workout group. I unfortunately have to hold off on that for a little bit now with my foot healing, but we’ll get there.
• I’ve formed a library committee for my library project, which I’m really excited about. We haven’t had a first meeting yet, but I think things will start moving quickly after we get a chance to meet as one.
• A group of people is forming that want to learn about chicken raising, so I’ll be working on that soon I think. I knew nothing about the subject before it came up, but I think maybe I can teach a little bit about it now. At least enough to get them started, I hope!
• I’ve designed a whole-school literacy program for my school that I’m hoping to present to the teachers soon so we can implement it right away this school year. It took a long time to finally put together, but I’m super happy with the result, and am waiting on feedback from the Peace Corps Response literacy experts in country right now. On that note, I’ve also been asked by two people to teach them English, so maybe I’ll get to start an evening English class for adults soon, too.
• I watched a lot of volunteers from BH3 (the cohort before mine) COS (close of service) and leave the country the last couple of months. It was really sad to see them go, but I wish them all the best in their post-PC lives!
• I went to visit Megan in her village to go see the first ever rodeo in the Toledo district of Belize. Her village is beautiful, and it was a blast of a weekend. Still terrified of horses, but it was cool to see the rodeo.
• I went to San Pedro a couple weeks ago and got my Advanced Scuba Diving Certification with Matt, which was absolutely awesome. I got to spend that whole weekend with some seriously wonderful people (Matt, Bum, Sarah, and Amanda), and went on 5 dives. Exhausting, but amazing.
• …as for my foot. On the way to Belmopan from San Pedro to lead a training for the new volunteers, I managed to cut my foot pretty deep walking to the bus terminal. On one of these streets, there are a bunch of drainage pits in the sidewalk that are either open cement pits, or they’re covered with grates, re-bar, or wooden planks. Part of the street was flooded that day, so I couldn’t see one, and caught the back of my food on the edge of one pretty hard. I had to get stitches in Belmopan and couldn’t walk on it for a week. I’m back home in my village now though (finally), and it’s healing nicely. I can walk on it moderately well now, but my balance is still a bit iffy.
• As for the training, I still did it on crutches, haha. It just so happened that, ironically enough, I was doing a training on volunteer resiliency. Despite my being on crutches, it went really well, and I hope/think the trainees got as much out of it as I did when we had that session last year.

Welp, that’s about where I am now. Things are going really well here overall, though it’s a bit slow right now with my foot healing up. School will start soon and then I’ll be crazy busy again, which I’m excited for, and my projects are starting to kick off. October is mid-service training (which is nuts, how are we almost halfway done already?!), and December I’ll be back for a couple of weeks for Christmas. It’s unbelievable how fast time is flying by, before I know it, my time in Belize will be done. I’m gonna bawl like a baby when that day comes.

Bryan 

P.S. I'm in the process of attempting to upload all my photos onto Facebook so y'all can see everything I've taken so far. No promises on when that'll be done, but I'm working on it!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Well, it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted a blog…sorry about that. Don’t worry, there will be pictures, I know I’ve been slacking there too.

I’ll start out by saying that I’m doing well, things in my village are wonderful, and I really do love my life here in CK/Belize. That being said…Peace Corps is kind of a mixed bag. Things are sometimes great one minute, and awful, stressful, crazy, or just lukewarm the next. It can change back just as quickly, too. It’s sort of like going through those crazy mood swings of puberty (got to teach that lesson 4 times, haha). There’s a plethora of good and bad, and we can’t sugarcoat it all the time. So this time around, I’m going to just give you some highlights of what’s been going on the last few months, without sparing the bad and the ugly.

• I teach a lot. A lot a lot. This is great, except when I have to do all the planning for it, sometimes with less than a day’s notice. Sometimes I’ve been given 5 minutes notice and those have been some of the most frustrating moments. I really do love teaching, but it’s freaking hard. Mad respect for ALL the teachers out there. Seriously.
• I got my scuba diving certification, which is super awesome and I’ve really been enjoying diving a lot. Seen tons of cool stuff already, and have gone down to 100 ft. under the water. Crazy right?
• I’ve finished tutoring the Standard 6 kids for the Primary School Examination. Some did better than expected. A lot falied. I’m actually really bummed about some of the kids that failed. I know my teaching helped at least a little bit, but it still hurts when you see it on paper that some of these kids have failed. I’ve been teaching some of these kids every week for 8-9 months, I’m attached. I love these kids. Seeing those scores has been one of the hardest parts of my service so far, it was heartbreaking.
• I got to go to the zoo with the school, twice. Once with the upper division kids, and once with the preschool. That was an absolute blast.
• I taught some awesome lessons on puberty, self-esteem, tooth decay, and gender roles and responsibilities. Classes like those make all the hard work with it, when you can see the kids pay attention and retaining the information. It’s easily one of my favorite parts of being a Peace Corps Volunteer.
• I’ve gotten to help out with some awesome projects other volunteers have been doing, like health fairs in Grant’s and Loan’s villages and helping build a multipurpose court in Sarah’s village. I love getting to see what other volunteers are doing.
• April was a crazy busy month. We a bunch of us went to Cockscomb Basin Jaguar Preserve and got to do some hiking and swimming near some beautiful waterfalls, and then went to Placencia for Easter. Right after that, I went to BRO (Boys Reaching Out) Camp, a camp for boys across Belize teach them about things like leadership, self-esteem, self-reliance, and teamwork, all while have a blast. Hands down one of my favorite weeks in Peace Corps.
• Language is coming along great, I actually feel really comfortable speaking Q’eqchi now. Just last week I had to give instructions in school in Q’eqchi to a girl who barely speaks any English, and it actually went well. That was a really cool feeling.
• My host family is still just as amazing as they were last time I posted. I love them so much. My service would not be the same without them.
• I’ve started cooking more, which has been fun. We had a little bit of a fiasco with some pancakes, but it all worked out and they were delicious. I also showed them yesterday how a French press works, and they got to try some legit American (read: Seattle) coffee. Next on my list are cupcakes, cookies, pasta, and pizza. We’ll see how that all works out.
• I’ve had a few visitors here: Tisha, Andy, and Megan have all been here to visit. When Megan came, we had a ukulele jam session in my room with all the kids that culminated in us getting into a rolled-up-poster-board fight. It was awesome.
• Some of my projects have fallen through for this year, which kind of sucks. I was planning on doing a health trivia competition here at the end of the year that didn’t pan out because of how busy things got for the school with the year ending. I also planned to start my own BRO and GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) clubs before the year ended, but I just ran out of time. I was really hoping that would be something I could do over the summer, but I guess I’ll have to find something else to occupy my time with instead.
• My library project will be going ahead though, finally. I’ll be working on that over the summer, and I’m super stoked to finally do something with it.
• I went to the farm with my dad to plant corn. It’s tiring, but going to the farm is always a good experience.
• I went to Boston for a week to visit the States for the first time in a year. I’ll be honest, it was really weird, and a bit overwhelming at times. Overall though, it was awesome. A bunch of us went to Boston Calling Music Festival, which was unbelievably amazing. I also got to present at BUSPH on being in the Peace Corps, so that was cool. A week was just the right amount of time though, I was ready to be back home in Belize after that.
• BH3 (the cohort before mine) is leaving over the next few months, and I’m really sad about it. Some have already left, and the rest will be going in July, August, and September. I’m really going to miss BH3.
• On a happier note, BH5 is getting here in a couple of weeks! It’s crazy how soon they’ll be here, because that means that we’ve been here for a year already. I can’t believe how fast time flew by here. I’m not going to be ready to leave in September 2018. 
• Every Monday morning, the kids at school do devotion. Since school is ending very soon, we had the last devotion this week done by the Standard 6 kids that will be leaving. They gave little gifts to all the teachers, myself included, that was really nice. I’m really sad I won’t get to teach them anymore.
• That being said, graduation is in a couple weeks and I can’t wait to see them all graduate!
• I’ll be back in Eau Claire in July for Jackie and Mike’s wedding, which will be awesome. Looking forward to seeing everyone back home again soon!

Well, that’s where I am right now. I’ll try to be better about posting these in a more timely manner, but I can’t make any promises. In any event, here are some pictures for you since it’s been so long!

Bryan

Teaching puberty to standard 4 students at a nearby village

Me, Anna, and Grant in Placencia

Village wedding!

Not having this picture business

Zone spelling bee where two of my kids competed

Proof to my host fam that I can in fact bake a cake for my sister's birthday

My ch'ina chilan (little chicken), Nugget. Not so little anymore

On the room of my house helping fix the roof. I'm up there on the right hauling up the next leaf

Andy playing with my host brother, Tony

Confirmation at the Catholic church in a nearby village

Scarlet Macaw at the zoo!

Sarah's Courts for Kids project - building a multipurpose court for the village

Sick view at Cockscomb Basin Wildlife Preserve after we hiked a few miles

Waterfall at the end of the above hike!

Ellen and Nicole, just two of my wonderful PCV friends

BRO Camp with my group, I-GUA-NAS!

Group selfie with my BRO camp boys

Health education poster competition at my school, one of the winning teams

Teaching kids about water safety, those bottles are filled with water and cinnamon, sugar, nothing, and salt, respectively

One of my friends int he village, Santa, and her newborn Dyannie!

Planting corn at the farm

Megan came to visit and incited a ukelele jam session/poster board fight

Sigur Ros while I was visiting in Boston

This is the Standard 6 class I've been tutoring for the past 9 months!

Making pancakes with the host fam

My host brothers Ven and Tony. Ven loves selfies and Tony is straight up ridiculous all the time

Busy Stuff

Hey all,

Welp, after keeping up with the blog challenge every week in January I couldn’t find time to make a single post in February, sorry about that! A couple of things have really contributed to that – I’ve been sick twice in the past month (a week the first time with a nasty cold, currently getting over #2 and I’ve just passed 2 weeks on a flu turned sinus infection, woof) and work has really picked up. I’m currently in Belmopan on sick leave for the sinus infection, so I figured I should write an update while I have good internet. I think the meds are finally starting to work so hopefully I’ll get to go back home to my site tomorrow, worst case is Saturday, but I’m more than ready to get back.

Anyways, the more important stuff lately has been work. I started teaching a ton in February, which I absolutely love! There was one week I taught 10 classes, which was a crazy amount of planning, but it was a blast. I’ve finally gotten to the point where the teachers are comfortable with me being there and want me to teach their classes. The kids too, that’s been the best part. I get asked by students all the time now when I’m going to teach their class next, even after I’ve just taught one. Some of the classes have been beyond amazing, too. I got to teach 5 year olds about private parts, and they were absolute champs, that class was a blast to teach. I taught a class on tooth decay to 12-13 year olds and got a round of applause afterwards, and the lesson really got through to them. I challenged them to cut down on soft drinks and told that class they should come rail up to me if they see me drinking one, and I’ll do the same. Not only did a couple of students come up to me to call out one of their classmates right after the lesson, but they’re still doing it! Seriously proud moments there. I also taught a straight lecture-style class on non-communicable diseases (which I try not to do since it’s not the most exciting thing) to 11-12 year olds and they still wanted to know when I would come back and teach them again. And those are just a few examples! I love teaching so, so much, I’m really glad it’s the main portion of my job.

On top of teaching health education, I’m also teaching PE which is a lot of fun, and I’m tutoring some of the standard 6 (8^th grade) kids in math and English to help them get ready for their high school entrance exam. Other noteworthy things that have happened: helped out with PCV Grant’s health fair (which was super cool), taught a class on puberty with another PCV, Morris, to 90 standard 4 (6^th grade) kids at one of the nearby village schools; again with Morris and another PCV, Loan, taught handwashing to an entire primary school of 900+ kids at a different nearby village school; got dubbed “Big Bad DJ Bryan” because I was asked to DJ the school’s Valentine’s fair; got asked to join one of the football (soccer) teams in the village (haven’t been able to yet because I’ve been sick, but I will be doing so); tutored a couple kids to prep for the area spelling bee (neither won, but super proud of my kids for all the work they put in); and showed my family I do in fact know how to cook by baking a couple cakes for my sister Senaida’s birthday. Busy stuff.

Things that I have coming up: going to be starting work (fingers crossed) on my library project soon, and I’m also designing a literacy program for the school; looking at working with the local boys and girls club, and also setting up a boys club and hopefully girls club as well; my current community health worker is retiring in a couple weeks (after having been a CHW for 31 years!), so I need to start working with (and helping train?) the new one; going to start doing weekly blood pressure checks at the village health post; hopefully will be starting some sort of workout group; getting scuba certified next weekend; camp for all the boys clubs in Belize is coming up in April; helping out with PCV Sarah’s Courts for Kids (basketball court building) project in April as well; in May I’ll be coming back to Boston for a week; in June BH5 (the next group of volunteers) get here (woop woop!); and in July I’m back in Eau Claire for a week. I love that things have really gotten busy, and it seems like 

they won’t be slowing down anytime soon.

Crazy to think that in just a few short months, I’ll have been here in Belize for a year. It’s already been a truly incredibly experience, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of service has in store. There have definitely been plenty of ups and downs, but things overall have been amazing. I love my host family and my village, and I feel really comfortable there. Work has been both meaningful and enjoyable, and I know it’s going to be impossible to leave here when I’m done in just 18 short months.

Well, I think that’s all for now, I’m gonna go back to resting and watching Chopped.

Teeril eerib! (Take care!)

Bryan

P.S. Sorry no pictures this time, hopefully soon?

Three Simple Words

This post is part of Blogging Abroad's 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week four: Change and Hope.

In three simple words: change is hard. There are a million ways to say that, to describe it, to illustrate just how difficult change is, but sometimes simple is best. Change is hard.

We know that coming in to Peace Corps service, because we know the job is hard. Again, the phrase they’ve told us from the beginning crops back up, “Peace Corps is the hardest job you’ll ever love” – everyone who did Peace Corps ever. It’s true though; we do development work, development work is all about change, and change is hard. It’s only natural that our job will be hard based on the work that we try to do. But we also know it inherently as human beings. Have you ever had a nasty habit you’ve tried to quit a thousand times and never succeeded? Of course, we all have one. For me (not that I’ve ever truly tried with all I have to break it though), it’s biting my fingernails. It’s not even a nervous habit for me; it’s just something I’ve always done. Often it’s when I’m absent-mindedly thinking about something, because I have this annoying need to chew on something, and my fingernails are always readily available…even if they’re already shortened to the nubs. For you it might be smoking, drinking (pop or alcohol!), watching TV, being too negative, saying sorry too much, being late constantly, or a million other things that people have tried to change over the years. The point is we’ve all failed at something like that sometime, so we all know just how hard change is.

Mobile clinic day

So if change is so damn hard, how does Peace Corps expect us to do it? How are people doing it? How did the people before us do it? Well in my mind it always comes down to two words: hope and persistence. Honestly, that’s what a lot of my job is here, putting those two words into action, every single day. I’m an extrovert, but some days I don’t feel like going out into the village, I want to just hide myself in my hammock and read a book all day. On those days, it takes a lot of those two words to get me out there: hope that what I’m doing is worth something, and persistence in forcing myself to keep trying to accomplish some good, even if I can’t see it. Thankfully I’m very much the optimist, so those bad days are few and far between, but the need for those two words definitely isn’t, and why I need them never changes. Sometimes though, even on the good days, it’s hard to keep telling myself that. That’s when I think of my favorite quote, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi. That’s what keeps me going on the days when I don’t know if I can.

Picking up trash after a Special
Olympics Belize event

The way I see it is this: sometimes change can occur simply through education, and I hope that happens quite a lot during my time here as a community health educator, but sometimes it takes someone modeling the behavior you want to change, and it always requires some sort of emotional component (whether that’s self-determination, an end-goal, a personal connection, etc.). That being said, I’m not naïve enough to believe education alone will create the changes I’m here working toward, I firmly believe that it will require personal connections and modeling the behavior. That’s what gets me out of my room those days, knowing that if I’m not out working with the people in my community, I’m not making any progress toward my goal of improving community health in my village. This quote by Gandhi has always been my favorite, but it resonates so much more with my life now doing what I do here. If I want to help make changes in my village to improve health, I have to be willing to make the journey right alongside the people I live and work with, showing them by doing it myself or trying something new with them. It’s been great motivation on both fronts: it helps get me out and about working, exercising, or meeting people, and the more exposure I get with people in the village, the more likely any changes I try to help with will succeed. I can only hope that by the end of my two years here, my hope and persistence will have paid off at least a little bit and I’ll leave CK a healthier place than it was when I came.

Best,

Bryan

An Adjustment Period

This post is part of Blogging Abroad's 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week three: Cultural Differences.

“Intercultural Communications folks have broken cultural differences down to 10 variables: How we see or value Environment, Time, Action, Communication, Space, Power, Individualism, Competitiveness, Structure, and Thinking.” – Michelle C., Blogging Abroad

I could probably spend time talking about how Mayan culture is different from or similar to American culture in every one of these dimensions, but that would make this blog post excessively long! Instead, I’m going to focus on the 3 that have stood out to me as the biggest differences I’ve found during my 7 months (crazy that number is 7 already, isn’t it?) in Belize, and consequently, the biggest adjustments I’ve had to make during my time here.

Time

For those of you that know me well, you know that I’m never the one to be late for a meeting or anything really important. I often show up to parties right on time (which isn’t the cool time to show up to a party), which is almost always too early, and I do it without trying. I value my time quite a lot, and I try and cram it full of everything I possibly can. If you were to take a look at my Google Calendar from when I was in Boston, you’d probably think I was crazy. And I loved that. If you were to look at my Google Calendar now though, you’d see that it looks quite a bit different.

Waiting for the mobile clinic nurses and community members
to show up for mobile clinic day

In America, time tends to be fixed for most people, meaning that “punctuality is precisely defined” (Philippa Collin, Ten Variables of Culture). If you’re 15 minutes late, you’re late. If you set a meeting with someone, you show up on time or it can be seen as an insult if you’re late. Here? Not so much. Time is very fluid: things will happen in their own time, and if a time is set for something, being late isn’t insulting at all. On the contrary, it’s expected. It happens quite frequently that if you ask someone to show up for something at 8am, they likely won’t show up until 9 at the earliest, often as late as 10 or 11. At first that was very frustrating to deal with, being the crazy time management person that I am. But in my time here, I’ve kind of gotten used to it. I bring a book and headphones basically everywhere now just in case, and I’m learning to enjoy moving at a less structured, slower pace. Not completely there yet, but I’m working on it!

Space

In America, people tend to value their personal space a lot. If you invade someone’s personal space bubble, they generally let you know and remove themselves a little bit. It’s also perfectly acceptable to hide away on your own for awhile for some “me time.” Here, there really isn’t a concept for a personal space bubble. All spaces are common ground for everyone, which is actually really cool. My siblings run in an out of my room all the time, because it’s not really “my room,” it’s just another room in the house. That being said, if I need privacy I can get some, but doing that is kind of selfish so I don’t like doing it a lot. I’ll partially close my door if I’m working, but if it’s not closed completely, they know it’s okay to come in. Which leads me to my 3^rd and final major cultural difference…

My entire host family in my room watching a movie together

Individualism

America is a very individualistic society; we really value our independence. We live our own lives, and though while often with other people, we generally tend to our own affairs. Our lives intersect with others quite a lot, but at the end of the day we move back into our personal spheres. We have our own things, in fact, ownership is a very personal thing on just about every level. Here it’s not like that at all. Everything is shared. Everything. And it’s actually really refreshing. This has been probably the biggest adjustment I’ve had to make, getting used to this, but it’s my favorite by far. I absolutely love collectivist culture after having been a part of it for the past 7 months. Triumphs, failures, trials and tribulations, things, space, time, moments, memories, projects…life is shared amongst everyone. Family and community is everything here. People often sleep in the same rooms altogether, families bathe together, work together, help each other out. Not just themselves either, but their community members as well. If a new house needs to be built, corn planted, or someone’s short on corns, beans or tortillas, people ask their neighbors for help, and it’s always freely given. People do favors for each other all the time, with no expectations in return, though favors always come back around from the people who had to ask in the first place. People are generally concerned about the well being of others in their community, because there’s a pervasive “we’re all here together” mentality in the village. That being said, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, it never is. People fight and disagree, some people don’t like each other or help others out, there’s gossip. But that’s life anywhere, not just here and not just back in the States.

There’s definitely been an adjustment period to living here, but just this week, I’ve finally reached a point where I truly felt integrated. It was honestly one of my happiest moments here, realizing that I actually had a place here, and felt like I fit in and belonged here, despite being a saq (white in Q’eqchi, their equivalent to gringo/American). The Mayan culture may be very different from what I grew up with, but that doesn’t mean I can’t live, interact, and work with the people here. I’m extraordinarily grateful for my time here already, and that will only deepen the longer I spend here. Integrating into Mayan culture has already changed me profoundly, and some of the things I’ve talked about will be things I continue to incorporate into my life here, and beyond when I return to the States. Realizations like this continue to impress upon me the importance of being a Global Citizen and not only learning about other people and their stories, but letting them impact and shape yours as well. 

Best,

Bryan